By ThinkJP.Consulting™ Copyright© 2015 - All Rights Reserved
I am a firm believer that there is no such thing as modesty in a foster home, especially for the mentally challenged. Not that we didn’t work hard daily to achieve that goal. We tried to keep to a routine most days which worked well for Johnny because he was very routine oriented. His daily routine was to have his shower first think in the morning. If Johnny awoke before us, he would get undressed and be waiting in the bathroom for us to help him with his shower. One Sunday morning we decided to sleep in. We were still in bed when the doorbell rang around 8:00 a.m. Johnny decided to go check it out.
By the time Jack reached the top of the stairs our nosey little Johnny was already standing at the front door with his nose on the window, completely nude. He had apparently been up and waiting patiently for his shower when the doorbell rang and distracted him.
You can be sure we warned our friends that if they dropped in unexpectedly, we
were not responsible for what they might find.
We were often the topic of conversation at social events, but it was done
with such love and understanding we let them have their fun and laughed along
with them.
On another occasion,
I had just finished helping one of the girls with her shower for the evening and
had sent her to her room wrapped in her bath towel with instructions to get
dressed into her pajamas for the night. A
couple of friends dropped by to practice some music and they were
standing in the entrance, which was also the center of the hallway leading to
the bedrooms. All of a sudden the
bedroom door swung open. There
stood one of my favorite foster daughters, holding her towel around her neck
like a winter scarf. Her totally nude body was exposed as she stood waving with
her whole arm and yelling greetings to the company.
Of course our guests were embarrassed and hurried to the living room
while I “addressed” the problem. None
of our folks were bothered by nudity; it was just a part of who they were.
There were many similar occasions, but the last one I will share is one about Johnny. When Johnny first moved into our home, he was terrified of showers. Apparently someone had used cold showers as discipline. We worked very hard to make bath and shower time a fun thing, and it wasn’t long before Johnny looked forward to shower time. One day I had decided to break of the routine and make breakfast BEFORE helping Johnny with his shower.
The neighbor girls were young teens around Michele's age who loved to come over. Johnny loved it when they came because he was usually the center of attention. He was so much like an over-grown toddler. Being only 4’11” tall, and weighing in at 90 pounds on a good day, he was just about their size. These neighbor girls had permission to eat with us this particular day and we all enjoyed our pancake breakfast. Of course they hung around for a while to play.
While I was cleaning the kitchen after breakfast, we heard a “Tarzan-like cry”
coming from the bathroom. We were all
shocked to realize it was Johnny. Now you have to understand that even though
Johnny never spoke a word, he had no problem communicating his wishes. Johnny
had apparently grown impatient waiting for me to help with his shower and
climbed on top of the toilet stool on his tip-toes, hanging on to the decorative
spindles that joined the sink and ceiling. He was totally exposed for all to
see. Of course everyone, including
the young neighbor girls, had run to check out the strange noise. Our deal
little Johnny was laughing so hard his shoulders were heaving.
His little impatient prank had apparently achieved the desired effect.
The girls laughed and talked about that incident for days.
In fact, still years later, whenever we see them, they reminisce about
that eventful breakfast at the Hoebeke’s house.
Despite our futile attempts to keep our foster home "PG" rated, all our friends knew that their children might get a good lesson in anatomy whenever they visited. In spite of this, they continued to let their children return to our home often, understanding that everyone who came in contact with our foster family benefited from the exposure of being connected to the mentally challenged. The lessons they learned from our special folks far outweighed a little embarrassment at the nudity they were sometimes exposed to.
One of our dear friends said that even though she lived in a much bigger and more expensive house, she had never experienced the family atmosphere and love she felt whenever she visited our home.
We have never chosen friends based on their material worth or status and have entertained folks from all walks of life, from the homeless to Prime Ministers, Ambassadors, athletes and everyone in between. It matters not what you wear or don't wear, you will always be welcomed and accepted in our home.
THE END